Love, Tears, and Suicide
by RavenTempestShadowhunter
Summary: Thalia can't handle the world anymore. But what happens when Nico finds her? AU one-shot. Rating for suicide. WARNING: very depressing. Thalico, slight Percabeth.


******I don't own Percy Jackson.**

**Love, Tears, and Suicide**

**Thalia**

I look at myself in the mirror. My black hair that covers my face, my electric blue eyes, the rivers of mascara running down my face. This is me. I look around at my room, the wall paint fading, the clothes strewn across the floor. This is what I have. A drunken mother, a pathetic attempt at a life, and mascara on my cheeks. I look back at the mirror. A boy who won't look twice at me as anything other than a friend. But he's friends with that other girl, the one who dresses in black and wears a lot of makeup to be noticed, and has a perfect life. I'm the other one, the one who dresses in black and wears a lot of makeup to blend in with the shadows, and who lives in this.

I turn, take the brush, then turn back and throw it as hard as I can at the mirror. The shards go everywhere, glinting as they fly through the air. They're so tiny. Some of them hit me, the blood runs down my sleeve to drip onto the floor. I sink to my knees, tears falling down my cheeks, mixing with the blood on the floor. A piece of my mirror lies next to me, staring at me, telling me to pick it up. This would be so easy. I take the piece in my hand, looking at myself in it. It is cracked, and distorts my face. I roll up my sleeve, seeing the scars. _Just do it one more time_. I tell myself. _Cut the other way this time. It's easy._

My phone. I need my phone. I need to call him. I fumble with the buttons, and finally his line is ringing.

"Thal? Do you need to come over again?" I sleep at his house sometimes, when my mom is home and being violent.

"I…I…" I stammer.

"Thal?"

I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Nico." I say. I can hear him saying my name as I close the phone.

The door is locked. I made sure of it.

I have to write him a note. I stand, find a piece of paper and a pencil, and write.

It takes the entire page, and the back, too. Finally I'm finished. I hold it in my hand as I take the piece of mirror and roll up my sleeve.

The blood flows over my arm, onto the paper, onto the mirror, onto the floor. It covers everything, it dominates. I feel myself fall onto the floor, and someone knocks on the door outside just as I slip into unconsciousness.

**Nico**

"Hello?" I call. I'm getting frantic. Is she here? What if she isn't? What did she mean, "I'm sorry"?

Finally I just open the door. I go upstairs to her room. Her mom is passed out on the couch, a bottle of vodka on the table next to her. I hate that woman.

Thalia's door is locked. I try the knob, but it won't budge. I pound on the door, but there isn't an answer. I know she's in there, she wouldn't lock her door if she wasn't. I back up, and kick the door open. It splinters a bit, but I don't care.

Thalia is lieing on the floor, covered in blood.

"Oh my god." I say to myself. I kneel next her and lift her head. "Come on, Thal, wake up." I'm crying. "Please, Thalia. Come on." I'm shaking her shoulders, but her eyes are still closed.

I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone. I hit the 9-1-1 button.

"What is your emergency?"

"She…blood…the mirror…" I stammer, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Where are you?" This woman is very understanding.

"Thalia's house." I manage to tell her.

"What street is Thalia's house on?"

"R…River Road. Number 4. River Road."

"We'll be right there. Just stay where you are." I hear the phone click. She's hung up. I fold the phone and put it back in my pocket.

She's breathing. Faintly. I can see it. She'll be fine. She's just unconscious. "Thalia." I repeat her name over and over again until the paramedics come. Everything is a blur after that.

I find myself in the hospital waiting room, hoping for good news. The doctor comes out. "Nico di Angelo?" he says in a questioning voice. I go over to him.

"Is she all right?" I ask. But I already know. I felt her spirit pass on.

"I'm sorry, Mr. di Angelo. We were unable to save her. She lost to much blood."

I sink into a chair.

"I need to ask you some questions." the doctor says, and leads me into his office. I sit in a chair across the desk from him.

"What was her name?" he asks.

I look up at him. "Thalia. Thalia Grace."

"Where did you find her?"

"Her room. On the floor. She…" I take a deep breath. "She had a piece of the mirror in her hand." I close my eyes to fight away the image. Thalia lying there, deathly pale, covered in blood. Oh god.

"What is your relation to her?"

"I…I'm her best friend. I've known…I've known her since we were kids." I'm having trouble speaking.

"Have you ever had any reason to believe she might kill herself?"

"Her Mom…her, her parents…" I can't do this. I think I mutter, "Excuse me." before getting up and leaving the room.

I go outside, and take deep breaths of the night air. I sit down, leaning against the wall of the hospital. I hugged my knees tight to my body and rested my head on my arms. Sobs rock my body.

**Percy**

The radio is playing some trashy pop song as I turn the corner into the hospital parking lot. I hate this place, but unfortunately it shares a parking lot with the gym. I try to come here after I work my night shift at the local Walmart.

I turn off the car, step out, and open the back to get my gym bag. I am walking past the hospital on my way to the gym when I hear someone crying. There is a dark mass of a person by the door. They can't be much older than me.

I stop by the door to the hospital. I think I recognize the person.

"Nico?" He looks up, his face streaked with tears. I look down on him, concerned. "Nico, what happened?"

"Thalia." he says.

I kneel next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Nico. Tell me what happened."

"I…I found her. On the floor. The mirror…" He's in shock. He's shaking. I put my other hand on his arm.

"Nico, calm down. It's okay. What happened to Thalia?" I'm trying not to panic. I found Nico crying in shock next to the hospital, and all I can get out of him is that he found Thalia on the floor, and something about a mirror.

"The blood…she was covered…oh my god." Nico puts his head on his arms again.

"Nico." I repeat his name until he raises his head again. "Tell me what happened to Thalia."

"She…her wrist…the mirror…broken…"

A cold hand clamps around my heart as realization dawns. "Nico…did she slit her wrists? With a piece of broken mirror?"

He nods. "She…" He takes a deep breath. "Thalia's dead." More tears roll down his cheeks.

I straighten and lean against the wall. "Oh god." Thalia's dead. I have to tell Annabeth. I take out my phone to call her. She picks up on the second ring.

"Percy." I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Annabeth," I say, then stop.

"Percy?" The smile is gone.

"I…Come to the hospital."

"Percy, what is it? What happened?" She's worried.

"I'll tell you when you get here." I close the phone, and kneel back down next to Nico. He's crying again. My tears won't seem to come.

"Oh my god, Percy." he says. I think he's gotten over his shock now.

I don't say anything, just kneel next to him and let him cry. I don't there's anything I can do. He cries for about ten minutes before Annabeth's car comes speeding into the lot.

"Percy!" she says as she comes over to me. "What's wrong?"

I glance at Nico, then lead Annabeth a few yards away. "Annabeth, it's Thalia." I swallow. "She's dead."

Annabeth looks at me, tears glistening in her eyes. Then she shakes her head. "No. No. No!"

I put my hands on her shoulders. "Annabeth, she killed herself. She slit her wrists with a broken mirror."

Annabeth's shoulders are shaking as she buries her head in my chest. I wrap my arms around her as tears begin to fall down my own cheeks.

**Nico**

I watch them as Annabeth shakes her head, and then begins to cry. I still can't quite believe it. I put my hands in my pockets, and feel a piece of paper. I pull it out. It's the note I pulled from Thalia's hand before the paramedics got there. A suicide note. I read it:

_Nico,_

_ I'm sorry. I know this must be hard, but I can't do this anymore. Tell my mom what she did wrong, if she cares. Tell Jason I'm sorry. And Percy, and Annabeth. And I know you'll be blaming yourself, but don't. It isn't your fault. Take my CDs, all of them. And give Jason the soccer trophy, he loves it. Give Annabeth the computer, as if she needs another, and Percy can have any sports gear he wants. Nico, I can't live like this anymore. If there is a heaven, and by some miracle I get there, maybe I'll see you there. Burn this note, I don't want anyone else to find it. I have one more thing to tell you, N. One more secret. When we met at camp a few years ago, I thought you were just another annoying boy. And honestly, you were. But every year, I'd come back, and every year you'd be there. And every year you would grow up just a little. Remember when you moved here? I was so excited to have new neighbors, and then I found out it was you. And I was almost scared, because I didn't know if you remembered me. And you did. It took years, I guess, but I finally realized I really liked you when we started high school. Then we went back to camp. When we were climbing, and I fell, and I was just about to hit the ground, but you caught me. Do you remember? You helped me down, and checked to make sure I was alright. And then we sat on a rock and talked for hours. And I realized that you weren't really tough, like everyone thought you were, you were sensitive, and you told me about your sister. And I was so sad, because I didn't want you to be sad. I wanted to bring your sister back, and I couldn't. And when we went to high school, I was really hoping we'd become more than friends. But that never happened. I don't want to die without you knowing. I love you, Nico. And I'm sorry you didn't get to know that before I died. But now you know. And I hope you remember me. I'll see you again someday, I hope. Good bye._

_Thalia_

I read the note three times before I really understand it. She loved me? I was so excited when we moved, and I found out we were living right next door to her. I remember the day when I caught her hand, before she hit the ground. I remember feeling a spark at our touch, and feeling supremely cheesy. I always thought she just wasn't interested.

Percy and Annabeth are still over there, crying. I feel like I should be crying. But I've run out of tears. I can't cry anymore.

"Mr. di Angelo?" The doctor's voice comes to me through my haze. I look up.

"What?" I have to restrain myself from punching him in the face, he didn't save Thalia. I know he could have.

"Please come with me." I rise, unsure of whether or not to go. Then I decide that if he wants to ask me more questions, I'll just leave. I get up and follow him through the hospital doors.

We go down the hall, but not to the doctor's office, as I expected. Instead, the doctor leads me to Thalia's room. When I get there, I find I do have more tears to cry.

"Oh my God." I walk forward toward her bed and throw my arms around my best friend.

When I break free, I look at her. "What were you thinking?" I ask, sobbing with relief. Then I turn to the doctor. "You said you couldn't save her!"

"She died. We tried to bring her back, but we couldn't. And then she just came back." He's looking a bit baffled, as if he doesn't quite understand. But I don't care. Thalia isn't dead.

She has mascara on her cheeks and tears in her eyes. But I notice something I didn't before. The pain. It seems like it's seeping from every part of her, and I can't believe I didn't notice it before. I hate myself for it.

"I'm sorry, Nico." Her voice is quiet. "Please don't make me go home."

I shake my head. "I promise I won't. You can stay with me." I wrap my arms around her, and I feel her begin to sob, she feels so frail. I know I'm getting her shoulder wet, but I don't care. I'm just so glad she isn't dead.

"I love you, too, Thals." I whisper. She doesn't hear me.

**Percy**

Annabeth looks up at me, her face stained with tears. "Why?" she asks. I shake my head.

"I don't know. Nico found her. I didn't get much out of him. He seemed to be in shock."

"Percy, she was his best friend. Of course he was in shock." She leans against the wall and takes a deep breath. Then she looks around. "Where is he?"

I look around, too. Nico is gone. "He probably went inside."

"We should go with him."

I put a hand on her arm to stop her. "No. Let's go home. He'll come when he's ready."

We're silent for the ride home. We take my car, leaving her's for Nico in the parking lot. I can't believe that Thalia's dead. We'll never see her again.

I can see the tears on Annabeth's face glinting in the moonlight. Is this a punishment from Artemis, for Thalia leaving the hunt? The moonlight seems to flare in denial. No, Lady Artemis wouldn't do that. Thalia might have left, but she was one of Artemis' favorite hunters. This was all Thalia.

What will happen to Nico?

_**(one week later)**_

**Nico**

"I'm ready." she says, smiling. But I can see the fear in her eyes. She doesn't want to go back to her mother.

"Come on." We walk out of the hospital holding hands, she's pulling down her sleeves to hide the long scars on her wrists. We climb into the car, and half an hour later we're back at my house.

"I need to tell you something." I say, leading her up to my room.

"What?" she asks. I shut the door and turn around.

"This." I lean down, and kiss her. For a moment she tenses, and then melts into my arms, her own around my neck. My hands slip around waist and pull her closer.

"I got your note." I say, breaking away. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you just wanted to be friends." She's almost smiling.

I laugh. "I thought _you _only wanted to me friends." I say, enveloping her into a hug.

She pulls away and kisses me again. My arms are around her waist, slightly lifting up her shirt, her hands tangled in my hair. When we break away for air, she puts her head on my chest and sobs.

_**(two weeks later)**_

**Nico**

"Thalia?" I call, coming into her house. She moved back in last week, even though she wasn't happy about it. We're supposed to watch a movie today.

"I brought the movie." I say. I walk up the stairs. The door to her bedroom is open, but the bathroom door is closed. I knock on it, but there's no answer.

"Thal?" I call into the door. I know it isn't her mother, because her mother is away on some "business trip".

The door is unlocked. I open it. And stop dead.

Thalia's lieing on the floor, her eyes open, tears staining her cheeks. I run over to her, pulling out my phone as I go. I hate to push the 9-1-1 button again. A different woman answers.

"What is your emergency?"

"My girlfriend. I think," I swallow. "I think she's dead."

"Where are you?"

"Number 4 River Road. The upstairs bathroom."

"We'll be right there." The woman hangs up.

I look at Thalia. She has a bottle of pills in her hand, her depressant pills. There's a note on her chest.

_I'm sorry. I tried. I just can't do it. I'm sorry. Nico, don't do anything stupid. Promise me that you won't do anything stupid. I love you._

It's much shorter this time. I should have noticed. I should have known she would try again.

"Mr. di Angelo?" the doctor calls.

I stand. "Is she alright?" I feel like I've had this conversation before.

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry. She was dead when you found her."

I knew it. I turn and leave the hospital, looking for the nearest thing to kick. I'm angry. Why couldn't she just try harder? I pull out my phone and call Percy.

"Hey, Nico." he answers.

"Percy." Suddenly I'm not angry anymore. "She's really dead this time." I collapse against the wall of the hospital, dropping my phone, sobbing into my arms. She's really dead.

_**(two weeks later)**_

Now I lie in her place, waiting for my blood to drain. Dad is away, and I don't have anyone else. Percy and Annabeth won't come. I won't be found until it's too late.

I didn't leave a note. They know what it will say. _I'm sorry_, _I couldn't handle it_, other things like that. And they know that.

Maybe I should try harder. I know they'll all take it hard. Maybe I shouldn't do this to my dad. He's already lost Mom and Bianca. I shouldn't leave him alone.

But now I'll see her again. I'll see Thalia. And that makes it worth it.

My eyes slide shut as I sink into blackness. My last thought is her name.

_Thalia_.

**I know that was really depressing, sorry if I upset anyone. Review!**


End file.
